Jewelry designer sparks debate after claiming engagement rings shouldn’t be a ‘surprise’
A jewelry designer has sparked a debate after sharing her opinion that engagement rings shouldn’t be a surprise, but rather designed or chosen by a couple together.
Madison Wright, who founded jewelry company Madberet and who goes by the username @madberetjewelry on TikTok, recently shared her belief on the proposals in a video posted earlier this month.
“It’s a message for anyone who will ever propose…the ring should come as no surprise,” Wright said. “But, how and when you propose should be a surprise.”
The video, which has since been viewed more than 896,000 times, proved divisive on TikTok, where some viewers agreed with Wright while others strongly disagreed with the opinion.
“I agree. I want this to be exactly my style since I’ll wear it forever,” one person wrote. “He thinks I’m better at money and I just can’t agree.”
Another person agreed because she indicated that she wanted her engagement ring to be a “very specific ring design”, which “will have to be personalized”.
“This is not a random ring that a bunch of women have tried on before,” they added.
Someone else revealed their partner proposed and then let them choose the ring afterwards, a method they said they were “so happy about”.
“My husband proposed and let me choose the ring and I’m so glad he did,” they wrote.
According to another woman, her husband proposed a solitaire setting and chose the stone, but the rest of the ring design was decided together after accepting the proposal.
The comment drew praise from Wright, who wrote, “Absolutely LOVE this approach! So creative!”
One viewer even went so far as to describe the idea of proposing without giving their partner a chance to share their “reckless” ring entry, as they noted that the jewelry is often expensive and meant to be worn for always.
“This!!! Dropping thousands on a ring (that she must wear all her life) without making sure it is the ring of her dreams is unwise,” they wrote.
However, while many revealed they agree with the jewelry designer, others said they would prefer their engagement ring to be a surprise, or at least part of it.
“Don’t agree here. I wanted the ring to be a surprise and so was he. My best friend knew my style and he went shopping with her,” one person commented.
Another said: “The surprise is the best part. Since it has advice on what to and what not to get.
Someone else revealed that he wanted his ring to be a surprise because it was more important to him that his partner chose something that he thought looked “beautiful on me”.
“Weird I WANTED my ring to be a surprise,” they wrote. “It was more important that he chose something he thought looked good on me, which made him special.”
As to why Wright thinks a couple should work together to choose or create an engagement ring, she told BuzzFeed that whenever she works with a couple to create an engagement ring, she asks the recipient of the ring if he wanted to be part of the design process, and almost every time they said yes.
“Almost every time it’s been a ‘yes’ and I’ve never had a couple upset about the ring coming out,” she said.
For people who don’t want to be part of the design process, she said she hopes they’ll still offer some clues to their partners as to what they want.
“As the recipient, I hope you were able to share, ‘This is the kind of stuff I love’ or ‘Here are some ideas for inspiration.’ Whether you’re part of the design process itself or that you leave these notes for your partner and allow them to go, I hope the recipient has a say in what very special piece of jewelry they will wear indefinitely,” she said.
Wright explained how individuals can share their engagement ring preferences without spoiling the final surprise in a follow-up TikTok, in which she explained that design lookbooks can be helpful. She also suggested the couples work on certain aspects of the ring together, like the setting, while leaving the stone a surprise.
The Independent contacted Wright for comment.